http://fortune.servehttp.com/ Random Generated Fortune Cookies from http://fortune.servehttp.com/ http://fortune.servehttp.com/Background/fortune_cookie.gif http://fortune.servehttp.com/ 34 27 Random Fortune Cookie Fortune Cookie
If man asks for many laws it is only because he is sure that his neighbor
needs them; privately he is an unphilosophical anarchist, and thinks laws
in his own case superfluous.
-- Will Durant
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5926 Fortune Cookie
ABILITY, n. The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of
the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the
last analysis ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high
degree of solemnity. Perhaps, however, this impressive quality is
rightly appraised; it is no easy task to be solemn.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5925 Fortune Cookie
KEY PUNCH OPERATOR
The best informed source regarding the weaknesses of the system,
new large scale computers and best nightclubs.
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5924 Fortune
If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would
presumably flunk it.
-- Stanley Garn
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5923 Fortune Cookie
Strength is irrelevant. Resistance is futile... Freedom is irrelevant.
Self-determination is irrelevant... Death is irrelevant.
-- The Borg, "The Best of Both Worlds," stardate 43989.1.
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5922 Sex
Does anyone know how to get chocolate syrup and honey out of a
white electric blanket? I'm afraid to wash it in the machine.
Thanks, Kathy. (front desk, x17)
p.s. Also, anyone ever used Noxema on friction burns? Or is Vaseline better?
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5921 Fortune Cookie
Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the
woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5920 Fortune Cookie
Paradise for a happy man lies in his own good nature.
-- Edward Abbey
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5919 Fortune Cookie
Old-fashioned poetry, but choicely good.
-- Izaak Walton (1593-1683)
-- The Complete Angler, Part i, Chap. iv
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5918 Fortune Cookie
WHY GOD WILL NEVER GET TENURE AT ANY UNIVERSITY 1. Only published
one book. 2. It was in Hebrew. 3. It had no references. 4. He did
not publish it in referenced journals. 5. Some doubt He even wrote
it Himself. 6. He is not known for His cooperative work. 7. Sure,
He created the world, but what has He done lately? 8. He did not get
permission from any review board to work with human subjects. 9. When
one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning all
the subjects. 10. When sample subjects do not behave as predicted,
He deletes the whole sample. 11. He rarely comes to class-just
tells His students to read the Book. 12. It is rumored that He sometimes
lets His Son teach the class. 13. Although He only has 10 requirements,
His students often fail His tests. 14. He expelled His first two students
for learning. 15. His office hours were infrequent and usually held
on a mountain top.
-- faculty members at Kansas State University
-- instructors at Allen County Community College
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5917 Miscellaneous
Take what you can use and let the rest go by.
-- Ken Kesey
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5916 Simpsons
Akira: [on phone] Hai ... Hai ... Hai ... Bye.
[hangs up and turns to Homer, Bart, Lisa]
Hi.
Homer: Akira, can you read this for me? [hands Akira the box]
Akira: [reading] Ah, yes. This is a product called, "Mr. Sparkle."
Very popular dish detergent. Hey, [points to box
illustration] he looks like you. Ah! Ah - ha! Ah! Ah!
Lisa: What's he saying?
Akira: He identifies himself as a magnet for foodstuffs. He boasts
that he will banish dirt to the land of wind and ghosts.
Lisa: Wow.
Akira: Yes, you have very lucky dishes, Mr. Simpson. This soap is
from the sacred forests of Hokkaido, renowned for its
countless soap factories.
Homer: [thoughtfully] Hokkaido, eh?
-- Yes, the land of sparkly clean forests,
"In Marge We Trust"
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5915 Fortune Cookie
If triangles had a God, He'd have three sides.
-- Old Yiddish proverb
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5914 Fortune
When it comes to helping you, some people stop at nothing.
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5913 Atheism
"No efficiency. No accountability. I tell you,
Hobbes, it's a lousy way to run a universe."
[Calvin & Hobbes comic]
http://fortune.servehttp.com//index.php?rss=5912